America's Got Talent

Some Americans do have talent. Unfortunately, none of them appear in this stupid show slapped onto our television screens by N.B.C. every Wednesday night. It's a talent show of sorts in which acts perform in front of three judges. The judges can agree that the act deserves to "move on" (whatever the fuck that means) or they get bounced with 2 out of 3 no votes. And, they can hurry the hook by hitting a button in front of them much like hitting the gong in the immortal Gong Show. I don't know what is worse, the acts or Simon Cowell pal, David Hasselhoff. He attempts to be the "over the top" judge by moaning and groaning about an act one minute and giving a standing ovation to a poodle act the next. And, why does his right hand always slip below the desk whenever some post-op transexual morphadite is on stage? The Paula Abdul of the trio of judges is the incredibly famous...Brandy. How did they land such a big star? I just figured she was booked up playing the atriums of the eastride, northridge, southride and westridge malls near you. She looks drawn out like she just barfed her last parsley sandwich a minute before the show started. The British dude, Piers Morgan, is the most reasonable judge on the show and is the only one that appears to know how to pick talent. I do think the show might be ok if they would just keep bringing out acts one after another. Instead, they engage in this tedious dialogue with each contestant either before or after their act which seems to bring whatever momentum they had to a screeching halt. N.B.C. will keep this turd floating for a while because Simon Cowell is the executive producer. There is no doubt in my mind he tried to get Mark Burnett to sign on to this thing but he refused. Now there's talent!